How to be an Excellent Host

Growing up, I watched my parents host countless parties. I am sure I inherited my love for planning and hosting parties from them. While my parents know how to throw the best parties, they are also the best hosts.

Those who know me are aware of my passion for planning parties. I have planned countless parties, from birthdays to Halloween, but my absolute favorite are dinner parties, which I love for their intimate atmosphere.

All my parties, except for my parents’ 25th anniversary, have been mid-budget. I love themed parties, so all my friends know to expect a themed event. My last party that I hosted was a few years back (shocking! I know!) before work got in the way. I wanted to celebrate my 35th birthday, so I hosted a dinner party in my parents’ backyard with a few of my friends.

I absolutely love planning parties, but more importantly, I love hosting parties. I love having people over, no matter the occasion.

After planning countless parties, one of the most important lessons I learned is that hosting is the key to any successful party's success. You could have the best food, the best music, the most elaborate decorations, but if you do not know how to host, then the party means nothing. 

Here are some steps you can take to be a great host at your next party.

1.    Plan ahead

Know why you want to have a party and what kind of party you want to host. Is it a casual gathering or are you hosting a milestone event at a venue? Read my (insert link) to know more about party planning.

Depending on the type of party, I will start planning at least one month in advance. This gives me enough time to create my theme, my menu, decorations, and the overall ambiance I want for my party.

2.    Create a budget

Knowing how much you want to spend beforehand will help you make more informed decisions and prevent overspending. Always have emergency funds, also known as contingency funds, because you never know when you will need them. Creating a budget helps me be more creative and only buy what I need. For most of my parties, I will make the food myself because it is more cost-effective. For decorations, I like to browse a few various places, especially online, before making my purchase.

A few years ago, I hosted a Halloween party and prepared all the dishes, from appetizers to desserts, because while the labor cost was high, it was economically more possible. This is something I have learned from my mom; she will make all the food for her party. She will cater sometimes, depending on the party size, her energy level, and whether it is more convenient.

Weigh your pros and cons when creating your party budget.

3.    Focus on big items

If the party is taking place at your home, then clean only the living room, kitchen, dining room, and bathroom that the guests will be using. Please do not go organizing your closet unless you want your guests to see how well-organized it is.

I remember growing up, my mom would clean the house top to bottom, to the point where my sister and I would help her clean the china cabinet. I never understood why, because I am quite sure no guest has ever opened the cabinet and inspected how clean it is inside.

You want the place where your guests will spend the most time to be clean. 

4.    Make one room the focal point of the party

Decide where you want your guests to spend more time. Is it the kitchen because you are going for a more casual vibe? Is it the dining room because you are hosting your monthly dinner party? Will it be the backyard for a more fun, laid-back environment? I recently attended a party at a friend’s house and noticed that her kitchen was the focal point. Although the guests spent time together in the living room, her dining room, and the backyard, most of the time we were all gathered in the kitchen.

5.    Create the right ambiance 

Having the right room temperature is so crucial. A few years ago, I attended a wedding reception held at a hangar because the theme was travel—a great concept, but not the ideal place in September heat, especially in California. You want to make sure that your guests are comfortable. The last thing you want is for your guests to feel like they are melting away like the Wicked Witch of the West or freezing into an ice sculpture like Elsa. 

6.    Invite the right guests

While we would like to invite everyone, we know that every party. As a host, it is your responsibility to keep the peace. Remember, your guests are coming to enjoy themselves and have an enjoyable time, not get involved in some drama.

 If you know that two of your guests do not get along or there is always some conflict whenever they are in the same room, do yourself and your guests a favor and refrain from inviting them. Also, if you have guests who you know can become unruly or disruptive after drinking, try to avoid inviting them. 

If you must invite them, lay down some ground rules beforehand. Let them know of the consequences if those expectations are not met.

I am going to hold your hand and say this with love: it is your party. Invite whom you want to.  You don’t have to please everyone.

7.    Inform your guests

Let your guests know exactly what the party is for. Please let them know if there will be any physical activities, so your guests can dress accordingly. Please inform your guests of any theme or dress code that may apply to the party.

I love theme parties; they are fun! Most of the time, I will do a color code for dress code because that is much easier, and everyone can accommodate. For my sister’s bridal shower, I chose blue as the dress code since the theme was Blue and Silver.

8.    Account for Children 

If you are hosting a birthday party, especially a children’s birthday party, ensure they have a designated seating area. If you know small children will be attending your party, you want to ensure that your space is kid-friendly; remove or move anything that could be a potential hazard. 

9.    Create your Menu

A good rule of thumb is to create your menu a month in advance, finalize it two weeks before, and start preparing one week before the party. Do not overcomplicate your menu. Your guests are not expecting 3-star Michelin restaurant-style food. If you are comfortable serving pizza but want to elevate it, consider ordering from places that specialize in unique styles of pizza. If you would like to buy already prepared appetizers, go ahead!

For my 35th birthday, I hosted a Taco Bar for appetizers but prepared the main dishes and desserts myself. One thing my mom does at every party is that she serves all the desserts guests bring.

10.  Have Fun

Have fun! I know this should be number one, but after hosting countless parties and experiencing my parents’ hosting parties, one thing I have learned is to have fun.

Your guests are there to spend time with you and enjoy with you. Make it a rule that once guests arrive, you are off duty. Yes, there is always a chance that something could go wrong. Have one or two people (family member or friend) that you can rely on if things do go south.

As always, have fun!

I hope this blog makes it easier for you to host your next party.